Guest Blog- Ms Diva

This guest blog comes from a former roomie of mine from when I lived in LA. "Diva" and I were interns together and have been friends for more than 5 years. We've had loads of adventures in LA. In show business these kind of events are frequent and really are an occupational hazzard. Love your work Ms D...

Okay Lush so one of my old interns pulled strings for me to get into the hot Studio party- how funny is that. The whole "intern" thing really does come full circle. So, I get in and all the peeps from PRISON BREAK are doing the red carpet so I'm hanging out with work friends and we're all drinking cocktails. Keep in mind this is right after work so no dinner - they do have dinner there but I don't want to eat - for numerous reasons:

1) I don't want food in my teeth or gas or anything like that

2) I don't like to eat while hundreds of other people are looking beautiful and walking around

3) There wasn't a nice table to sit down at

So you can see where this is going: FREE Liquor, no food, celebrities, and I'm hanging around with a co-worker that gets me in trouble when we hit up the town outside of work.

After the peeps from the show are all done with the red carpet they scatter -some to the bar - some to the food - some to their friends.

Wentworth goes straight to the other end of the soundstage where the president of the Studio is introducing him. I make buddy with "Haywire" (real name: Silas) from the show - he was standing by himself. I told him I thought he was fabulous and I enjoy his "work." He thanked me and we chatted uncomfortably for a few minutes before I left him.

I'm on drink #2 now - it's only been an hour. My friend Jess is chatting it up with a guy who's a prisoner - forget his name - anyway, he's hitting on her telling us to go to the Four Seasons afterwards. Cool. Now I feel really cool - just got invited to the after party at this pseudo-Celeb's hotel room. This calls for drink #3.

Meanwhile, my friend Brandon is also doing quite well with his drinks and is drunk already - doesn't take him much - I find him outside chatting up one of the actresses from the show. I don't recognize her at first - but I sure did after her conversation with Brandon (B) that goes something like this (picture a drunken gay "Diva-acclaimed-him-to-be-a-queen" boy) hitting on a hot female actress (FA) - because that's how it went down:

B: So I'm going to tell you - I don't watch the show at all - but I know who some of the people are - and I don't know you.

FA: I'm the girlfriend to (forget the characters' name).

B: Diva - look at her! Isn't she hot!!!??!!

D: Yes, she's beautiful Brandon.

B: Well, I've never heard of you! Are you like an extra or something?

FA: No, I'm a regular

B: Really? Are you sure? Do you guys having acting tiers at Prison Break or something?

FA &D: Huh? What?

B: Well, c'mon are you a B or C list actor because you're not an 'A.'

(Yes, he straight up called an actress "C-list" - something you NEVER call attention too.)

D: Okay Brandon let's go.

B: But Diva she's so HOT! Look at her is she not the hottest person you've ever seen?

(Wanting to say she's not that HOT but after what he said) :

D: Yes, definitely.

At this point she's beginning to get freaked out and wants to get away, I can tell.

B: Can I get my picture taken with you?

She is freaked and reluctantly agrees. Brandon continues to tell her how hot she is - she is totally weirded out (she thinks he's hitting on her) then finally he says,

B: I'm gay I can say these things to you.

I finally get him away from her - meanwhile - there are a number of other work people who have witnessed this debacle.

Definitely onto drink #4

The work peeps and I hang out, talk, whatever...then I spy Silas (aka Haywire) over by the bar - again, by himself. I decide not only do I need another drink but Silas and are going to be friends. We're even going to be friends after this party.

I bring him to the table and no one says a word. NOT ONE WORD. They stare at him after I introduced him - oh and I mispronounced his name! Yep - it was the most uncomfortable situation in the world. He obviously felt as uncomfortable as I did and then he left.

So despite the whole Silas thing - I still get into the party and everyone knows me; people are stopping me to say hi. One of the actors invites me (well, via Jess) to his hotel. I have 5 drinks in me with no dinner - I'm feeling no pain...

The night however is winding down and people are leaving; I've got a good buzz going and then B and I realized we haven't met Wentworth yet. How is that possible? We met and shook hands with everyone but him.

We spot him. We go to him and the gaggle of people that surround him - he can't even take two steps without someone asking for a picture with him. And then out of nowhere I have an opportunity and I seize it. Wentworth leans in to me and gives me "that look." I shake his hand and tell him I think he's great and then proceed to make an ass out of myself and tell him how he met my friend in a New York Starbucks and she was so happy about it and so I just had to come to this party to shove it in her face and how good looking he is...

Everything I did NOT want to ever come out of my mouth DID...

Brandon then - and thankfully - interrupts and starts talking to Wentworth. B demands that Wentworth get picture with him and that I take it - so I do. Then my balls grow back and I ask Wenty to get a picture with me as well - he says sure (very humble man.)

Brandon can't get the phone working or whatever so it's taking what seems like forever- so long in fact that I realized:

"I'm SQUEEZING Wentworth Miller's BACK FAT!"

Yes, how embarrassing is that.

So then Brandon see's the pic of Wentworth and me and decides he doesn't like it and we need to do it again. Wentworth the poor thing just stands there. THEN the Studio publicist turns to me and says very rudely "That's enough. He has to go now" I look at Brandon - I'm embarrassed - Brandon looks at me and is about to pitch a fit like a two year old. I glance back at our publicist - I take the picture anyway - Brandon's kind of happy. The publicist says to me again "That's enough!" I then, with my holier than art thou attitude (that had been building through out the night) proceeded to say:

"Excuse me...do you know who I am?" (Oh yes I said it!)

He responds, "Yeah, you're Diva." Before sharply turned taking Wentworth with him. I stood there dumbfounded at what I just said and did.

Oh, did I mention the guy I said this too was also an executive - not only a publicist but an EXECUTIVE and the president of the studio was standing there as well along with other "suits."

Brandon, giddy after meeting the man of his dreams, and me stupefied, truffle on out the party with everyone else. By this stage Jess's too drunk to go to the hotel/other after party. I have to drive Brandon home as he was not invited plus I wasn't going to go if Jess wasn't so I went home.

Yeah, I haven't been back to a Studio party since but it's only a matter of time till I get back on the horse. As you like to say. NEXT!