Rumps and Bumps - Bloggest Loser Week 1

I'm pumped to be part of the BLOGest Loser especially since I was REJECTED by the BIGgest Loser TV show a few weeks ago.

My BL obsession led me to applying for the Aus version only to receive the standard 'thanks but no thanks' e-mail. I was crushed.

So how am I going to compete in the BLOGest Loser?

Firstly, I'm steering clear of gyms and personal trainers - I can't go through the dramas like last time. I've joined Jenny Craig. Gasp. I know it's all a bit '80s but it's working. I'm really busy at the moment so it's a no brainer. So far I've ditched 4.9kgs (10.8lb) in 5 weeks. Hi kicks all round. I've not set foot inside a gym (just doing loads of walking as per usual thanks to living in the city/Pub transport).

The only big problemo is skipping the vino - coming into the holiday season i'm going to skip food in favour of wine. It's a given.

I'm submitted my weight based on the start date :)

Learning about the NNP

I met someone who works at one of those blokey mags with the busty tanned girls on the cover (you know - the girls most commonly plucked from the shallow end of the Big Brother talent pool.)

She was explaining the mag and how the one she works for is different to others since her mag can be read in public places without guilt due to the NNP "No Nipple Policy."

Leats hear that again: No Nipple Policy. I've heard of unusual work place policies but the NNP is by far the most hilarious.

The Bloggest Loser

I've entered The Bloggest Loser over at Cherry's.

I must admit I was pleased to have this opportunity to use my boxing gloves, especially since it's the only other time I've used them was on the day of purchase (vaguely sometime last year). I've since stopped donating to Fitness First.

The target is January 1 - it's going to be tough to go through the holiday season sans vino. Don't despair - I've already started looking at skipping food in favour of wine.

I'm going to create some sort of a scale to measure my success based on interest by hot men. It's not all about the numbers

Stay tuned.

My Silver Bullet and Me

This one goes out to my Silver Bullet that within in a matter of less than 5 minutes was written out of my will then was quickly invited back in to became the sole benefactor.

Sorry to break it to you but the Silver Bullet is not a vibrator it's a ceramic hair straigtener. Seriously with a hair straightener this good there is no need for the vibrator. The results speak for themselves.

The bitch packed it in whilst my hair was still wet - gasp - I had an important event to attend which demaned this frizzy curly haired femme fatal to look chic. Phew - a few of the old turn it off turn it on again and the angel worked.

Crisis averted.

Baby's Got Back

It's no secret that I'm on an eating plan AKA "loose your ass before next year so you can go to NYC and rule the world plan."

I was sticking so closely to it for 3 weeks then broke on the long weekend. It was a lovely sweet pastry that started it and a slippery slope from there that included a schnitzel but I'm back on it now.

I'm in the process of figuring out what food I can substitute for wine. Surely I can do a cheeky switch dependent on calories. Just skip a meal right? I'd be willing to have a glass of wine in place of say 2 apples.

Save the Dates

There's something about public holidays where I end up searching personal ads on the net. It's Labour Day and once again I've been lured into www.RSVP.com.au

I usually end up spending hours assessing profiles of eligible men who I'll never contact. I'll add a few to my hotlist - get quite addicted - and burn out after a few days. I've got a profile and all but it's not visible. I've had it up before but thought it wrong since I never contacted anyone back. I like to fly under the radar.

I even had a profile on J-Date which is ridiculous since I'm not Jewish. Naturally my preference was for New Yorker men. Yeah - that wasn't a success for obvious reasons.