I'm hung over from last night and the only thing that seems to make sense to eat is a weird combo - hot dog frankfurts, a croissant, a wagon wheel and pineapple juice. I can't find the Advil and am too lazy to walk to the shops so i'm suffering through it.I was lining up to see a live re-voicing of the original Willy Wonka movie when my guests and I got antsy. We felt that the bar was calling our names louder than the Oompa Loompas were PLUS the door bitch was being over zealous with her clipboard antics so we fucked Wonka off, and headed to Bondi.
Now, I'm generally a vino or cocktail girl but if you put a beer in front of me I’m not one to pass up it up. A bevoir is a bevoir and I’ll accept all offers. Sure, lets blame my being polite as the reason for my being drunk.
My friend's ex/friend was out with us and on the prowl for a one-night stand. He's a gardener/landscaper - the equivalent of the Desperate Housewives guy but Aussie but more of a rugged type.
So gardener guy revealed he has a pre one-night stand domestic preparation routine that he undergoes. It's essentially tidying up his house and making it 'female friendly.' You've got to be ready I guess. I wonder, is there also a plan B, C, D in place in case something goes wrong?
Sadly for gardener guy there was no one-night stand but he did get to take his ex and me home with his brother. That actually sounds far more interesting but really; it's not at all what you think. At least if it were to happen he would have been prepared.
3 comments:
Judith, you screwed him and his bro simultaneously didn't you? Loves your work!
Thanks to "Raunchy Paunchy" I've discovered that I am a 'cock dodger.'So sad for us all but no.
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